I really need to vent

     I use to have a friend that I could vent to but now I have you.  So... I really need to vent.  What I mean is, "I have a lot of stuff that's on my mind and I have to get it out my system."  I have to be honest with you because my venting can get a little crazy but it's my work through.  I just hope you don't hold it against me.  It's your first time so remember that patients is a virtue.  Patients.
     My professional life is going the way it should I suppose.  I'm on this road and I have no idea where it's going.  I use to really like that, the unknown.  Long story and no I wont tell it today.  I don't even know if I like this journey that I'm on.  Then I'm thinking am on the right path or am I running again.  My question to myself, of course.  I can't answer that.
     I've changed a lot of things in my life.  I'm putting a show together and I have a wonderful artist line-up; that's not the problem.  I don't really know what the problem is really.  Except that I'm completely mentally handicapped at the moment.  I mean, this is where I'm suppose to be.  This is where my life is suppose to be.  Except my purpose for success is gone and now I'm trying to decide if what I'm doing is really what I want to do.
     I'm not a very complex person.  Really, I'm not.  I'm pretty comfortable in just about any environment.  I prefer simplicity, well romantic simplicity (if there is such a thing) in lieu of over-the-top romantic or dramatic.  Although I have to admit that I love an air of dramatic (a pinch) and as long as it doesn't have a name or is a part of my family.  I'm just saying!
     I know that I want to help my friends and I know that I really want to do the show.  But do I want to lead or participate?  I love music, I love to sing, and I love creating.  I have to admit that I like being my own boss and I like helping people so that's not the problem at all.  Why isn't that enough?  That's where I am right now.  What I have to do is so easy for me but I have to learn new skills in order to be well rounded.  I thrive off of things being hard because I love problem solving.  I get off on it.  It use to be my thing.  I see a problem.  I solve it.  Simple.  I'm hoping that this show will spark something; give me something.  I know where this road could take me if I work hard and hard work is the easy part.  Getting past myself... that's the work.
     Okay, I'm done for now but thank you for listening to the inside thoughts of a crazy mind.  Much love to you.